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Posts Tagged: The Girl That Time Forgot

3 things.

The Girl That Time Forgot 1

by Joseph on April 28, 2021
Chapter: Whale: Season 13
Characters: Duck, Little Girl, Tom And Alison Towne

(Exterior of the Towne residence) LITTLE GIRL (holding her fingers curled up to her mouth like fangs and confronting her mother, who is reading in a chair next to a table with a landline phone and a picture of a lighthouse on the wall): Mom. Mom! I am a vampire? MOM: You...is that a question? LITTLE GIRL: I just realized I haven't aged a day since 2002! And neither have you! MOM: You're probably not a vampire. Which I feel is something I shouldn't have to say as often as I do around here. LITTLE GIRL: This is serious! Were you stoned the ENTIRE pregnancy? Look at me! I've been seven years old for nineteen years! We still have a landline with a squiggly cord! Are there any gas lamps in this house? Siri, do we own a horse? I just asked our magic A.I. butler if we owned a horse, mom. What the hell year is this anyways! MOM: ...Fine. You're a vampire. (Exterior of Duck's house, which is outfitted with security cameras and large satillite dishes. Little Girl appears silhouetted in the doorway of Duck's garage, which is a vast science lab. He is working on some invention in the foreground in full protective gear) LITTLE GIRL: Hey, mister! DUCK: Are you here with my thin mints? LITTLE GIRL: I'm not a girl scout. DUCK: Yeah, I know. My inquiry still stands. LITTLE GIRL: Look, I need your help. I know you're into science because there is constantly a weird gas coming out of your house. DUCK (angrily): That gas is patent pending! Are you with DuPont? Get out! LITTLE GIRL: I just want to know why I haven't aged since I turned seven. DUCK: ...Interesting, yes. Ok, I will help you age, but only if you keep me in cookies the whole time. LITTLE GIRL: Cool. I was gonna give you one thousand dollars cash in an unmarked envelope, but I can do cookies too.

└ Tags: Crazy Schemes, Duck's Inventions, Science, Season Thirteen, The Girl That Time Forgot
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The Girl That Time Forgot 2

by Joseph on April 29, 2021
Chapter: Whale: Season 13
Characters: Duck, Little Girl

DUCK (placing pills in a bottle with a tweezers): Ok, first rule of Age Repair Club: tell everybody you know I invented Age Repair Club so I can become famous enough to date St. Vincent. LITTLE GIRL: Uh...I got bad news for you. DUCK: Shush! It can wait! Now just swallow nine of these wildly experimental gumball-sized horse pills I invented ten minutes ago. LITTLE GIRL: ...But I got here four minutes ago. DUCK: You've been seven your whole life and you're arguing with me about the logistics of suppressed time displacement? LITTLE GIRL: Why are the pills GLOWING? DUCK: That's just your basic ionizing radia--look, I would never give you anything that would kill you right away, ok? (A caption reads 'Three Minutes Later') LITTLE GIRL (looking down at her fully-developed woman's body): Hot damn! Boobs! Now I can do anything! DUCK (suddenly very old, toothless, bearded, bespectacled, and walking with a cane): Who the hell are you! Get out of my garage! Are you with DuPont? I will never sell it, hear! It's mine! LITTLE GIRL: Whoa. These pills made you older, too? DUCK: Sweetheart, I take a massive amount of drugs, you'll have to be more specific. (Exterior Whale's beachfront split-level house, where a lady answers the door to Little Girl) LADY: ...Can I help you, fully-grown woman? LITTLE GIRL: I'm looking for Whale. This is Whale's house. LADY: Oh dear. I'm afraid the previous owner of this house died a few years back. They say his blood was mostly circus cheese and Wild Turkey. Some of his stuff is still in the basement, I think. LITTLE GIRL: That's impossible, Whale is my best friend. He would've told me if he was dead. LADY: You're welcome to look around if you like. LITTLE GIRL: So how does this work, I show you my boobs and you let me in the basement? LADY: ...Or we could go down there fully clothed like two normal people. LITTLE GIRL: Right. Sorry. I'm still getting used to these. (A caption at the bottom reads 'To Be Concluded...')

└ Tags: Crazy Schemes, Death, Duck's Inventions, Science, Season Thirteen, The Girl That Time Forgot
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The Girl That Time Forgot 3

by Joseph on April 30, 2021
Chapter: Whale: Season 13
Characters: Little Girl, Whale

(Little Girl stands silhouetted in the basement doorway of Whale's old house, looking down at the boxes he left behind at the foot of the stairs, with a clarinet, a bowling ball, and an ashtray scattered around them, and a mouse roaming around on the floor. She finds an envelope with a 'W' seal and the words 'To Catherine on her 26th birthday' written on it. With Whale's clarinet under her arm she opens it, finding a key and a note enclosed, and reads: '...Dear Cat--Don't be sad. I knew this would happen eventually. I saw it in a dream, from which I awoke to the distant sound of a passing train. I climbed aboard and found this key. It opens a memory. The memory opens a wish. The wish reveals a truth. And in that truth, a puzzle whose solution is a secret. And the secret, dear girl, is that a picture is worth a thousand years. Your friend, Whale'. Exterior of the Montauk train station. Little Girl is inside, Whale's clarinet still under her arm, trying the key in one of the lockers. She finds a lockbox inside one of them with a whale symbol on it. She opens it and finds a polaroid of herself and Whale at Sea Fest with 'Me & C 2002' written on the bottom) LITTLE GIRL (looking at the photo sadlly): ...I wish Whale were here. I wish I were a little girl. (Her wish is granted and suddenly Whale is standing with her looking excited and happy to see her, and she is back to being seven years old and overjoyed to see him. A caption at the bottom reads 'The End')

└ Tags: Crazy Schemes, Death, Lilana's Faves, Season Thirteen, The Girl That Time Forgot
 Comment 

Hello. I'm Joseph Devens. Welcome to the Internet home of the Whale Cartoon, or the Whale Comic Strip, as it is known to its friends. My message is simple: Whale, which is a funny webcomic featuring dogs and rabbits, birds and swine, monotremes, a human girl child, a gentleman who looks like Montana, sometimes a moderately sexy android, and a whole lot of celebrity guests, is the greatest thing you will ever put in your brainflaps. Join Whale on his adventures with Little Girl as they explore new heights of surreality and awkwardness. Or, spend time with Pig and Duck as they straddle the line between what's scientifically possible and what's dramatically plausible. Perhaps spend an afternoon or two with Murphy, as he interviews IfTheodoreRooseveltWereARabbit, in complete disregard for his own sanity. I advise against spending any time with Montanaface, you will wish you were dead. And don't forget to peek in on a date with Duck and Sarah 4020, which may lead you to question whether a robot sexual partner may be in your own near future. Oh, and Platypus. There's a platypus in here somewhere. Thank you, and goodnight.

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