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Karen McAlpineThe only thing that Miss McAlpine's students know about their second grade homeroom teacher for sure is that she is 28 years of age, which is ancient, and that she rewards back rubs during story time with goldfish crackers. What they don't know is that she is actually 31, which is even closer to death than they could ever imagine, and that physical contact between teachers and students is a felony. But who cares! Because her unemployed boyfriend is boastfully unfamiliar with the non-thrusting methods of pleasing a woman. Karen constantly changes her hair and eye color, has perfected quickly gaining and losing massive amounts of weight, and sometimes wears veal cutlets in her bra to avoid being located by her former boyfriend, whose own spotty work history consists primarily of doing laundry and manufacturing New York license plates. Comics: 2 |
Little GirlLittle Girl has remained unlikely close friends with Whale since her ephemeral career as a Whaleshavik on Long Island Public Television's Whale And Kids during its brief two-season run. She carried the distinction of being the only Whaleshavik personally hired by Whale himself because he believed her to be the girl from his favorite toothpaste commercial. She wasn't. Comics: 160 |
Hello. I'm Joseph Devens. Welcome to the Internet home of the Whale Cartoon, or the Whale Comic Strip, as it is known to its friends. My message is simple: Whale, which is a funny webcomic featuring dogs and rabbits, birds and swine, monotremes, a human girl child, a gentleman who looks like Montana, sometimes a moderately sexy android, and a whole lot of celebrity guests, is the greatest thing you will ever put in your brainflaps. Join Whale on his adventures with Little Girl as they explore new heights of surreality and awkwardness. Or, spend time with Pig and Duck as they straddle the line between what's scientifically possible and what's dramatically plausible. Perhaps spend an afternoon or two with Murphy, as he interviews IfTheodoreRooseveltWereARabbit, in complete disregard for his own sanity. I advise against spending any time with Montanaface, you will wish you were dead. And don't forget to peek in on a date with Duck and Sarah 4020, which may lead you to question whether a robot sexual partner may be in your own near future. Oh, and Platypus. There's a platypus in here somewhere. Thank you, and goodnight.
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