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Featuring:

Platypus

Plat*y*pus [Plat-i-pus] -Noun, Plural -puses, -pi A small, aquatic, egg-laying monotreme, Ornithorhynchus Anatinus, of Australia and Tasmania, having webbed feet, a tail like that of a beaver, a sensitive bill resembling that of a duck, and, in adult males, venom-injecting spurs on the ankles of the hind limbs, used primarily for fighting with other males during the breeding season.

Comics: 97
Recent Appearance: Jeopardy
First Appearance: Dead Body

Whale

Binomial Nomenclature: Physeter Macrocephalus. Age: 56. Weight: 41,000 Kilograms. Occupation: Jazz Musician. Former Occupation: Host of WLIW Public Television's least educational educational children's variety program, Whale And Kids, from its premier in 1990 to its cancellation in 1992 amid a swarm of controversy surrounding one of the kids being eaten on live television. Religion: Secular Jew. Smokes: Marmots. Loves: Smoking, Mingus, A-1 Steak Sauce. Hates: Water chestnuts, all children except one, the ocean.

Comics: 250
Recent Appearance: Meta
First Appearance: O, Possum

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Luxury Shower

by Joseph on May 20, 2010
Chapter: Whale: Season 08
Characters: Platypus, Whale
└ Tags: Girls, Season Eight
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Hello. I'm Joseph Devens. Welcome to the Internet home of the Whale Cartoon, or the Whale Comic Strip, as it is known to its friends. My message is simple: Whale, which is a funny webcomic featuring dogs and rabbits, birds and swine, monotremes, a human girl child, a gentleman who looks like Montana, sometimes a moderately sexy android, and a whole lot of celebrity guests, is the greatest thing you will ever put in your brainflaps. Join Whale on his adventures with Little Girl as they explore new heights of surreality and awkwardness. Or, spend time with Pig and Duck as they straddle the line between what's scientifically possible and what's dramatically plausible. Perhaps spend an afternoon or two with Murphy, as he interviews IfTheodoreRooseveltWereARabbit, in complete disregard for his own sanity. I advise against spending any time with Montanaface, you will wish you were dead. And don't forget to peek in on a date with Duck and Sarah 4020, which may lead you to question whether a robot sexual partner may be in your own near future. Oh, and Platypus. There's a platypus in here somewhere. Thank you, and goodnight.

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(A caption at the top reads 'The following comic strip has been created using an artificial intelligence.*' A character resembling Joseph Devens but with teeth and features distorted or in the wrong locations is pointing at a pie chart divided into an impossible number of percentages with a giant blurry 'My Title' written above it and a key whose elements read 'Chonchy, Sleep, Dog Vaping, Writ, Draing, Cocoa Reality Butter, Contemplating Peanut, Dog Racing, Weep, Dog Draining, Chonchy,' and a blank space) JOSEPH: Greetings, Joseph Devens! This is a manga artist's greeting, Benz Death. I'm having fun with my trap and I love all the dogs in the sea. (The next panel has horribly distorted versions of Pig and Murphy speaking to each other. Pig has three eyes, three hooves and a hand, and a logo for 'McDong's' on his chest. Next to him float some upside-down dogs standing on two legs. Murphy's mouth is in his torso, and the word 'Press' is written partially backward on his hat and a lone molar floats near his head) PIG: We're gonna make a little change. Candy terror is real and this is my favorite way to eat candy. MURPHY: We have our own sweet tooth here. PIG: It's not a candy fish, it's your life. A lot of sugar goes a long way. MURPHY: We all want to be your friendly hands on these candy glops. PIG: The Big Candy Fisherman is back with a new album. Candy gloop. It's a perfect way to end your life. (Another caption at the bottom reads '*All of this will be extremely offensive to the sentient computer community in about fifty years. We offer our sincerest apologies.')

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