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Featuring:

Duck

Founder, President, and Sole Member of the Montauk Akademy of Engineer (MAKE), Duck is a professional amateur inventor endowed with the unorthodox imagination of Goldberg, improvisational fluidity of MacGyver, and practical applicability and market potential of both.

Comics: 193
Recent Appearance: Sushi
First Appearance: O, Possum

Pig

Mild-mannered, spectacle-wearing high school calculus teacher by day, mild-mannered, spectacle-wearing night school calculus teacher by night, Pig has been Duck’s more reasoned half since rooming together at Famous Frank’s Famous Polytechnical School Of Engineering, Applied Science, Chicken, Mathematics, And Waffles at NYU, often at the expense of his own physical, emotional, and financial health.

Comics: 128
Recent Appearance: Sushi
First Appearance: Reprehensible

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Cat Sweater

by Joseph on May 7, 2009
Chapter: Whale: Season 07
Characters: Duck, Pig
└ Tags: Lilana's Faves, Season Seven
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Hello. I'm Joseph Devens. Welcome to the Internet home of the Whale Cartoon, or the Whale Comic Strip, as it is known to its friends. My message is simple: Whale, which is a funny webcomic featuring dogs and rabbits, birds and swine, monotremes, a human girl child, a gentleman who looks like Montana, sometimes a moderately sexy android, and a whole lot of celebrity guests, is the greatest thing you will ever put in your brainflaps. Join Whale on his adventures with Little Girl as they explore new heights of surreality and awkwardness. Or, spend time with Pig and Duck as they straddle the line between what's scientifically possible and what's dramatically plausible. Perhaps spend an afternoon or two with Murphy, as he interviews IfTheodoreRooseveltWereARabbit, in complete disregard for his own sanity. I advise against spending any time with Montanaface, you will wish you were dead. And don't forget to peek in on a date with Duck and Sarah 4020, which may lead you to question whether a robot sexual partner may be in your own near future. Oh, and Platypus. There's a platypus in here somewhere. Thank you, and goodnight.

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DUCK (placing pills in a bottle with a tweezers): Ok, first rule of Age Repair Club: tell everybody you know I invented Age Repair Club so I can become famous enough to date St. Vincent. LITTLE GIRL: Uh...I got bad news for you. DUCK: Shush! It can wait! Now just swallow nine of these wildly experimental gumball-sized horse pills I invented ten minutes ago. LITTLE GIRL: ...But I got here four minutes ago. DUCK: You've been seven your whole life and you're arguing with me about the logistics of suppressed time displacement? LITTLE GIRL: Why are the pills GLOWING? DUCK: That's just your basic ionizing radia--look, I would never give you anything that would kill you right away, ok? (A caption reads 'Three Minutes Later') LITTLE GIRL (looking down at her fully-developed woman's body): Hot damn! Boobs! Now I can do anything! DUCK (suddenly very old, toothless, bearded, bespectacled, and walking with a cane): Who the hell are you! Get out of my garage! Are you with DuPont? I will never sell it, hear! It's mine! LITTLE GIRL: Whoa. These pills made you older, too? DUCK: Sweetheart, I take a massive amount of drugs, you'll have to be more specific. (Exterior Whale's beachfront split-level house, where a lady answers the door to Little Girl) LADY: ...Can I help you, fully-grown woman? LITTLE GIRL: I'm looking for Whale. This is Whale's house. LADY: Oh dear. I'm afraid the previous owner of this house died a few years back. They say his blood was mostly circus cheese and Wild Turkey. Some of his stuff is still in the basement, I think. LITTLE GIRL: That's impossible, Whale is my best friend. He would've told me if he was dead. LADY: You're welcome to look around if you like. LITTLE GIRL: So how does this work, I show you my boobs and you let me in the basement? LADY: ...Or we could go down there fully clothed like two normal people. LITTLE GIRL: Right. Sorry. I'm still getting used to these. (A caption at the bottom reads 'To Be Concluded...')

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