well, here it is. it finally happened. the site isn’t launched yet, but I’m testing the live journal feature anyhow to see if it works, how it looks, and if it is stupid or not. i’m thinking of keeping it.[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
holy crap. it’s eight months later and the website still isn’t finished. damn those filthy, filthy horse asses i paid to make my site for me. just kidding. or am i? yes, yes i am. well, right now it’s about[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Today is Presidents’ Day. I celebrated by going to a theatre and shooting myself. That is all. Questions? Comments? Call 555-9334. (It’s totally a real number, I promise.) [ mood | naughty ]
It is housed at its temporary location, https://www.whaleontheweb.com/index.html, until we move it to its proper home, whale.com. ENJOY!!!!! (Especially you, Joseph! xoxox Lilana) [ mood | jubilant ]
Today is the day. the website is up and running and I owe it all to lilana wofsey and her amazing technicolored dream skills. she single handedly turned a rag tag group of yongsters from the wrong side of the[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
welcome to the first state of the website address. that is, this is to inform you of the state of things here at the website and is not the state of things at any general website address. rather, this is[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
well hello there, you. don’t you look nice today. did you get a hair cut? i didn’t think so. first of all, i’d like to thank my ol’ pal mac blake for promoting my site to the extent he has.[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
who says money can’t buy happiness? not me. damn, do i love having a job. being gainfully employed allows me the luxury of the following: paying my rent! feeding myself! buying gas! paying the electric bill! bribing the police! wiping[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
do not be fooled by my previous entry. it was a filthy lie. i just discovered that i am really really poor. on an up note, whale t-shirts are in the works!!! tell your friends. i’ll let everybody know when[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
the whale comeback is imminent. by which i mean i intend to start drawing whale again next semester after a semi-long and quasi-relaxing hiatus. speaking of steven spielberg, i saw War O’ the Worlds recently, and it was better than[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
PEOPLE OF EVERYWHERE: WHALE T-SHIRTS ARE READY, DONE, COMPLETE, AND WATING FOR YOU TO BUY THEM AS WE SPEAK!!!!!!!! www.cafepress.com/whaleshop seriously, a whale t-shirt would be the perfect gift for anyone this christmas. i’m not even kidding. plus, i’m really[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Happy Christmas, everyone. I say “happy” instead of “merry” because that’s how they do it in Europe, and I’m classy like that. Also, if you celebrate one of those other, crappier holidays, have a nice one of those. Today is[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I just read my last entry, and it scared me to death and I cried all over the place. Perhaps I went a little overboard on that one. “My bad” as they say. Didn’t mean to ruin your Christmas with[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Where’s all the money? Where is all the MONEY?? There is money in this world that belongs to ME, but something is wrong, and I don’t have the money, so I’ll ask again. WHERE IS MY FUCKING MONEY? Maybe you[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
ATTENTION EVERYBODY: This not a metaphor, and I am NOT fucking around. If you haven’t been listening to the sounds and words I’ve been making lately, then listen up and listen good. I’m only saying this twice: WHEN: THIS FEBRUARY[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I’d like to thank everyone who came out to see our movie last night at the Alamo Drafthouse. So, thank you. Also, if you didn’t come to it, you missed out big time, because we TOTALLY WON THE FUCKING CONTEST.[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Tonight is the night, ladies and everyone. the night that I almost forgot about until five minutes ago when I saw an ad for it on the television. I am, of course, talking about the Academy Awards. When I was[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Here the things are: Thing #1: Measures are currently being taken to transfer my website to it’s future new home at www.whaleontheweb.com. How exciting, right? Good. Thing #2: My birthday is Saturday. I’m turning 22. Also, Japanese. (I thnk.) Thing[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Now that I have your attention, there are a few things that at this very moment are increasing in importance and decreasing in secrecy. They are as follows:1. I am back at UT.2. Whale will return to the comics page[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Ladies & gentlemen… Children & babies… Animals, ghosts, & hobos: It is my most profound honour to bestow upon you the fruit of several years of back-breaking, bowel-curdling, & oftentimes seizure-inducing labour…the culmination of two people’s talents…the fruition of ideas[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Tonight’s episode: “THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ‘CAN’ AND ‘SHOULD’” Steven Spielberg’s 1993 documentary Jurassic Park presented our culture with a very important moral, a moral that fertile people today have forgotten, and that moral is this: “Your scientists were so preoccupied[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Tonight’s episode: “CATS: THE INHUMAN ATROCITY” Here’s a funny joke: What has four legs, a tail, some whiskers, a stupid emotionless little face, no respect for anything living or dead, a soul as black as the Devil’s heart, and poops[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Tonight’s episode: “THE SMOKING LUNG” What’s the worst part about smoking? NOTHING! It feels good, it looks cool, and recent studies indicate that smoking at least one pack of cigarettes a day gives you super powers such as breathing underwater[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Well, hello out there, internet! Goodness, it’s been awhile. You’re looking…nice. Lilana has been frantically updating the site with all of the bullshit I’ve ever made in my life, not excluding my New Yorker cartoons, Daily Texan illustrations, filler cartoons,[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
That’s right, everyone. (And by everyone I mean nobody because, honestly, is anybody reading this?) Whale: The Movie is coming. I have been working a screenplay. I have a plot and a vision. Expect this to hit theatres in several,[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
“The Green Pyramid” The story of the green pyramid is not for children or babies. It has greed, nervousness, complicated mathematical formulae, a large green pyramid, nakedness, and the whole world almost getting blown up all over the place. The[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello!
Hello, Whale people! Joseph Devens here. I’m pleased to announce that the Whale book is finished! Special thanks to all the donors who made this book possible. I’m also pleased to announce that the book is for sale in Austin,[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I am almost 30 years old and I have been drawing this goddam cartoon for over a decade, have won awards, received praise from high sources, signed autographs on naked boobs, and gave the 2007 commencement address at Stanford University[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
As the title of this blog entry indicates, yours truly (me) will be at the Staple comics convention in March 2015! I will have my own table and everything. You can meet me, my friend Andrew, buy signed books, card[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
The tremors in my body and my hands have become severe due to the medication I take. I can barely type on a keyboard and drawing Whale is now totally out of the question because of the shakiness of my[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Well I just now finally watched Garden State for the first time…OK most of it. It was so BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING that I skipped the last half hour. If the moral of the story was that your life will be better if[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Hey @AlJean. I will animate your couch gag for free. For the purposes of this discussion, I am super famous. — Joseph Devens (@DoctorDevens) October 26, 2015 @DoctorDevens @TheSimpsons cool drawing I don't think all of our guest animators are[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
HELLO! AND WEL and, sorry, and welcome to THE LATEST BLOG POST ON THIS WEBSITE I DO TOO INFREQUENTLY FOR ANYONE TO KNOW OR CARE ABAOUT! Regarding that, I am working on some new Whales, by which I mean I[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I need Jared Leto’s Joker like I need a storage unit, like an abandoned storage unit on one of these dumb auction shows, filled with dead horses. The lady opens up the thing, you immediately choke on the stench cloud,[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I STILL LOVE YOU, PAUL. Here is my unsolicited review of Paul McCartney’s McCartney II, which I bought today because it was $6 at the used record store. I am not a music critic, but I feel obligated to do[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Michael Crichton, who tragically passed away before his brainy vision of a technological Utopia where mankind finally abandons its flamboyantly irresponsible disregard for the correct placement of the “H” in his last name became a reality, sold over 200 million[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
St. Vincent’s fifth herself album MASSEDUCTION, which was cheekily and/or arrogantly touted as a “masterpiece” by her own social media posts, damn near is. A low-hanging satire of a mainstream pop album which is also—guess what—a fully-dysfunctional mainstream pop album.[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
From all of us at Whale, happy holidays! No matter which one you celebrate. Just as long as you are among those most dear to your heart. Love, warm wishes and hugs, your dear friend, and as long as the[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
“THERE ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE WOMEN IN RUBBER FLIRTING WITH ME, GIMME A BREAK!” Is something a professional actress just screamed with total sincerity in front of an audience full of mesmerized, giving-a-shit people, none of whom immediately exploded[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
You will never experience a more beautiful efficiency than this video of Andy Warhol eating a Burger King Whopper in 1981. Listen to that sound. It actually purrs! That’s real film, too. Remember when movies were sensual? Remember right now[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I fear the only measurable display of confidence you will glean of my soul this day, Father, blooms and withers before you now as a single teardrop in the ocean of eternity, serving[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
The following Google reviews you are about to read are real. All of these places have been reviewed by me after visiting them, and fairly, for the people of The Google Corporation. My stunning work as a freelance critic has[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
