The expression “A penny for your thoughts” was first published in 1546 in a book called A Dialogue Conteinying the Nomber in Effect of all the Proverbes in the Englishe Tongue by a man named John Heywood. Today, after inflation, that penny would be worth around 47 dollars. You owe me 47 dollars.

I find it depressing that the bookstore has an enormous section on Christianity, but a tiny little section on philosophy. Faith wins over thinking, I suppose.

Ate breakfast at Taco Bell today. Unrelated side note: Have thrown up blood three times since eating breakfast at Taco Bell today.

Trees: should I still be climbing them?

My taxes: Did I forget to file them yet?

I can’t be positive, but I think I might have angered a lesbian in the park this afternoon after telling her(?) that she bore a striking resemblance to actor Bruce Willis. Or perhaps I met actor Bruce Willis this afternoon and am now surprised at how large his breasts have become.

Has anyone seen my record collection? I had over 12,000 records, alphabetized and everything, now I can’t find them. …Oh now I remember. I sold them to pay for the hospital bill I incurred after contracting amoebic dysentery after eating breakfast at Taco Bell today.