1. “I’m going to tear off your face and wear it as a mask,” cackled Rue McClanahan.

2. Saturn: gay Jupiter?

3. This world needs another Batman movie like I need a new asshole right here. (points to his elbow.)

4. Two dogs and a vicar walk into a bar. They never walk out.

5. Shoes for sale. Almost new. Feet included.

6. Truth or dare? Dare. I dare you to cut out your tongue. Ok. Truth or dare? Twoof. Have you ever immediately regretted doing something stupid? Yef.