I inadvertently read a news article today while surfing the internet for Russian schoolgirl porn that said that Rush Limbaugh is losing sponsors left and right because his show’s ratings have dropped significantly. To this I say, “Huzzah and hooray.” I say this because Rush Limbaugh is one of the most wishy-washy, fence-sitting, pseudo-bullies I have ever seen. Sure, he says he hates democrats, liberals, women, gays, lesbians, blacks, Jews, the leftist media elite, cripples, children, crippled children, baby deer, oil-covered ducklings, the elderly, Santa Claus, Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha, Martin Luther King, Jr., the Beatles, Picasso paintings, the 13th amendment, the 19th amendment, Citizen Kane, and Star Wars, but does he really mean it? Sometimes I wonder! Because if he were a truly rotten asshole, such as yours truly, he wouldn’t limit his hatred to such a small and obvious slice of the population. See, in order to achieve the level of greatness that say, someone like myself has obtained, you have to be willing to hate everybody and everything, not just a few select groups. For instance, when I go to Wal-Mart to buy Russian schoolgirl porn, I hate the old man who greets me because of his age, I hate the other customers around me because most of them are morbidly obese, I hate the janitor cleaning up the vomit because he’s poor, I hate the kid who threw up all over the floor because some of it got on my shoe, I hate the sweatshop workers who made my shoes because they don’t speak English, I hate the girl at the checkout counter because she’s ugly, and I hate Sam Walton because he’s got more money than I do. I’m an equal opportunity hater. I don’t see race, color, creed, nationality or sexual orientation, I only see stupid morons that are only good for one thing: being tricked into voting for me.