MONTAUK, NY – Citizens have been in uproar over a bad shipment of the Kellogg’s cereal, Smart Start, since Wednesday of last week. The popular cereal, which arrives by ship every month to the glee of thousands of Long Islanders, was not found in any of the 3,000 boxes ordered. Instead, the boxes are filled with what citizens are calling “small objects in the shape of common things, like a hat, a boot, or a wheelbarrow.”

Dr. Sheila Milly, scientist at Montauk’s Institute for Discovery confirmed Thursday what everyone feared.

“The boxes are not filled with delicious Smart Start cereal. They are filled with Monopoly pieces.”

One local man, who wished to remain anonymous, claims God told him of the forthcoming mistake in a dream.

“‘Tom Fenton,’ God said, ‘I’m gonna tell you something now, and I want you to listen. Tom, there’s gonna come a time when all the world seems upside down. But you are one of my favorite sons, so I want to give you a little bit of a warning. Next week, when the big ship comes with all the crates of Kellog’s Smart Start cereal, I know you’re gonna be so happy. But Tom, remember what I said to that guy: “Let the first be the last, and let the last have the spoils.” What I mean is, you better not count your eggs in one basket because instead of Smart Start, it’s gonna be Monopoly pieces.’ So then I woke up, said three rosaries, and went to New York and bought up all the Smart Start that I could. Now who’s laughing?”

An executive with Kellogg’s had this to say:

“We at Kellogg’s know how important our cereal brands are to our customers and their families. We have absolutely no idea how this happened. It kind of freaks me out when I think about it. We want the citizens of Montauk to know that we are deeply sorry and are placing a recall on all the 3,000 boxes of Monopoly pieces. Please do not eat the Monopoly pieces. If you have a Monopoly board with missing pieces, now might be a good time to get those missing pieces before you mail back the box.”

Kellogg’s also announced that an emergency shipment of Product 19 cereal will be sent to the island immediately. News of this has been met with luke-warm enthusiasm.

Hasbro has neither confirmed nor denied the error.