I AM SITTING ON A FUCKING GOLD MINE! And the gold mine is about to explode money out its coin hole.

Oh, I forgot to mention: this is my first blog post. WELCOM TO ME, THE INTERNET! Pee in the swimming pool? More like pee in the ocean! I mean, more like…a drop of pee in

MORE LIKE PEE in…hold on.

Anyway, the reason I’m about to be rich is because I have IN MY POSSESSION two run-away dogs and one run-away c…no, two run-away cats and two run-away dogs. All of them RAN AWAY and all of their owners are super worried about them and have placed signs up to that affect up all over arou nd the neighborhood.

The first part of the plan was easy-peasy Japan. First I open up the back gates to several homes in the neighborhood, and waited until nightfall. THEN I set up the traps.

next, all I had to do was collect the runaways and wait for their owners to put up the signs.

The sta…hold on. OK IM BACK. One of the cats is sick, it looks like.

The stage of the plan I”m in now is called “OPERATION: WAIT FOR MORE MONEY.” hER…Herein, I carefully wait and wait. As the summer days get longer and hotter, the poor owners will offer MORE AND MORE MONEY on their signs for their pets to be found and returned.

THE ONLY WAY I CAN FUCK THIS UP IS IF I DON’T KNOW HOW TO CARE FOR DOGS AND CATS FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS (and they die of starvation) OR I FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM and decide to keep them all.

So, fingers crossed until the big CH-CHING that I’m guessing will happen mid-August when the ransom/reward is up to around 3 or 400 apiece.

OK One of the cats is definitely sick.