My therapist said I might try having a web log to release some tension, so…Abracadabra.

Let’s see. I think the first and most obvious order of business would be to list people that are more attractive than I am. First, celebrities: Christopher Plummer, Jackie Chan, Ted Danson (Cheers era, not Steve Martin era), Steve Martin (regular Steve Martin era, not unsettling brown-haired Steve Martin era), Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, and Morgan Freeman. Now, common people: Morgan Freeman (guy I know), lesbian nurse from the hospital I go to, Chinese Pete from Chinese Pete’s Takeout & Exotic Fish, Mexican Pete from Chinese Pete’s Takeout & Exotic Fish, Tom Landry (is he famous anymore?), Eric, Donny, Phil, Li’l Hobo, William Crunkspeare, Duck, Pig, and Whale. Not Platypus, he’s hairy. (He won’t read this.)

Thanks, doc. I feel a lot better.