Ladies & gentlemen…
Children & babies…
Animals, ghosts, & hobos:
It is my most profound honour to bestow upon you the fruit of several years of back-breaking, bowel-curdling, & oftentimes seizure-inducing labour…the culmination of two people’s talents…the fruition of ideas forged long ago by two friends eating kosher delights at a deli in the centre of the capital of Texas, well past the going-to-bed hour…distances measured in incalculable numbers could not stop the maturation of this project…animals with chainsaws for teeth and teeth for hands tried their damndest to put this project asunder, but to no avail…the most dastardly assaults were laughable…the most formidable opponents were dismissed with the wave of a half-asleep hand…I am speaking, of course, about the website that Lilana and myself have been working on for the past three years….
People of the internet: FEAST YOUR BRAINS ON THE ABOMINATION OF NATURE THAT IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE….
Thank you, God bless you, and God bless the United States of Whaleontheweb.com.
Yours forever in electric pleasures,
Joseph N. Devens
ps-British spellings are better.
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